What’s a Girl Supposed to Wear on Halloween?

by Armchair Paranormal on October 4, 2012

Halloween

October 31st is a favorite day of the year for many. What’s not to love? There’s candy, trick or treating, parties and the most fun part of all, costumes! Personally, I’ve always leaned towards the dead, creepy and ugly side of costuming. For other girls, it’s the chance to dress up in, let’s say it politely, a sexier manner than usual. Hey, I’m not judging, but I think of Halloween as my time to be as gross and disgusting as possible. I just happen to be the minority at most parties. Here are a few examples of my not so sexy costumes of the past.

About five years ago I showed up to a friend’s party as a Mexican wrestler. I had the authentic black, white and red mask. My salon at the time had a tickle trunk of old costumes and one of the girls suggested I borrow the alien body suit because it would match my Mexican Luchador mask. It was all black with stripes of red and white along the side, the piece de resistance were the large silver shoulder pads, all I had to add was a cape. It was awesome! Well, at the party I realized that I was the only ‘non sexy’ girl there. Guys would walk up to me, stare at me and then walk away, it was as if I was not getting the point of Halloween, they were perplexed. Half of the girls were dressed up as Madonna. I had never seen so many sexy Madonna’s in my whole life, the pointy boobed Vogue Madonna, the Ray of Light, the Like a Virgin, Desperately Seeking Susan…I missed the memo on that one, big time! I still stand by my choice of costume, but I felt like a bit of a loser. All was forgotten after I had a few cocktails though. At least the hostess of the party was dressed as the lady in the shower from psycho, so she was a little gross because of the bloody shower curtain.

Dressing up like a back from the dead, army vampire, saved me from embarrassment another Halloween night. Now we’re going back maybe ten years ago. I couldn’t figure out what to wear for a last minute Halloween party, so I threw together an army jacket and hat, put on a straggly black wig and put fake spiders and spider webs all over my hair and body. I put white makeup on my face and put lots of black eye shadow around my eyes and cheeks, then added a little blood to the corners of my mouth to drip down. I looked pretty damn good for throwing it together last minute. How did this costume save me you ask? Well let’s just say that someone at the party laced some brownies, and those brownies tasted really good, and you shouldn’t eat a lot of those brownies that are laced, but I didn’t know that I was eating special brownies… All I can say is, I don’t like brownies anymore. But the costume saved me because there is a picture of me that looks so awesome because I look so disgusting and trashed with my bloodshot eyes that I could barely open and my fake bloodied mouth. If I was ‘sexy Madonna’ that night, and the same picture was taken, I would have never lived it down! Instead, I just look like a crazy, cool vampire. See my point?

Another Halloween, I bought a silk vintage dress so I could be an ‘old lady’ ghost for Halloween. I put my hair up in a high chignon, powdered my hair and face white, did the grey shadowing under the eyes and cheekbones. At the party I noticed that the slit in the back of my dress had pulled apart quite considerably, it started at the ankles and was now up to my knees. By the time I walked home, the slit was right up to my butt, maybe a little higher. It happened to be a very cold and windy walk home.

Well, I have many more stories of costumes and costume malfunctions. All I can say is, Halloween is not the time to take your self seriously. Have fun, dress like a whore if you want to! Just remember, you may start the night looking beautiful, but by the end you may look like the Bell Witch.

Have a safe and Happy Halloween everyone!

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